Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Monday, February 25, 2013
Just an Update
Life is flying by!!!!
It has been 10 days since I have had a majority of the things on my forbidden list. I even made baked chicken for dinner one day and I felt so accomplished. This weekend was difficult though. My car has been acting up lately and I was supposed to go to Dallas for a baby shower, but I just didnt feel comfortable driving that far with my brakes not being reliable. I found out last minute about a Dnow in Kirbyville, TX (uhhh where?!?) that some of my friends were doing and they asked me to tag along. I rode with them down there and had a blast. While I was there, I struggled with getting enough food. Most of the meals consisted of red meat and cheese. Lunch on Saturday was the hardest situation. I had a choice. I could either eat tacos, which consisted of everything I am supposed to avoid, or I could not eat and see if I could find something somewhere in passing. I decided eating was a better option. It was a bad idea. I have never felt so sick in my life. It was so disheartening to be sick while being a leader for a dnow. I wanted nothing more than to be up playing games with the kids, but all I could do was sleep. The people at Central Baptist in Kirbyville, TX were the sweetest people I have ever met. They went out of their way to make sure I was ok and to have food that I could eat at the rest of the meals we shared.
Now Im back and Im exhausted.
There are only 2 more weeks until Spring Break! I am excited beyond belief. My best friend and I are going to New York City over the break and we have been anxiously waiting for it to come!
Spring Break, though, is going to be the beginning of a difficult time. Knowing that its been almost a year since the last conversation I had with my grandad is so sad to me. How has it already been so long?? What a godly influence he had on my life. This new diet has me giggling every time I think of buying grapefruit to keep at the house because grandad always told us that "grapefruit gives you chest hair". Of course back then I ate it just because I wanted to do everything just like granny and grandad did. Now something as small and ordinary as a grapefruit can send me on a trip remembering such a great man.
At the end of the day, God is faithful and He will never leave us. And because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
It has been 10 days since I have had a majority of the things on my forbidden list. I even made baked chicken for dinner one day and I felt so accomplished. This weekend was difficult though. My car has been acting up lately and I was supposed to go to Dallas for a baby shower, but I just didnt feel comfortable driving that far with my brakes not being reliable. I found out last minute about a Dnow in Kirbyville, TX (uhhh where?!?) that some of my friends were doing and they asked me to tag along. I rode with them down there and had a blast. While I was there, I struggled with getting enough food. Most of the meals consisted of red meat and cheese. Lunch on Saturday was the hardest situation. I had a choice. I could either eat tacos, which consisted of everything I am supposed to avoid, or I could not eat and see if I could find something somewhere in passing. I decided eating was a better option. It was a bad idea. I have never felt so sick in my life. It was so disheartening to be sick while being a leader for a dnow. I wanted nothing more than to be up playing games with the kids, but all I could do was sleep. The people at Central Baptist in Kirbyville, TX were the sweetest people I have ever met. They went out of their way to make sure I was ok and to have food that I could eat at the rest of the meals we shared.
Now Im back and Im exhausted.
There are only 2 more weeks until Spring Break! I am excited beyond belief. My best friend and I are going to New York City over the break and we have been anxiously waiting for it to come!
Spring Break, though, is going to be the beginning of a difficult time. Knowing that its been almost a year since the last conversation I had with my grandad is so sad to me. How has it already been so long?? What a godly influence he had on my life. This new diet has me giggling every time I think of buying grapefruit to keep at the house because grandad always told us that "grapefruit gives you chest hair". Of course back then I ate it just because I wanted to do everything just like granny and grandad did. Now something as small and ordinary as a grapefruit can send me on a trip remembering such a great man.
At the end of the day, God is faithful and He will never leave us. And because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
Friday, February 15, 2013
Life is about to change
Most of you know that this summer I went to the emergency with a kidney stone. Less of you know that it was my 3rd stone to have. My first kidney stone came the morning after returning from a mission trip to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. I was 14 years old. When I had the scans and Xrays done during that process, we found out I had another kidney stone in my left kidney. It was just a waiting game. A year later, the Friday before my 16th birthday, I was in the emergency room with my second kidney stone. I was told by one of the nurses that because I got stones at such a young age, I would probably have them for the rest of my life. I thought she was lying when 6 years passed and I didn't have a single stone. Until the morning I woke up with that all too familiar pain in my side.
The pain, the medical bills, the lithotripsy, it all sucks.
Yesterday I had a doctor's appointment with my urologist in Houston. I kept a big girl face on while he listed all of the foods I need to stay away from in order to stop my body from producing kidney stones. Then I got out to my car and I cried.
We talked about prescription drugs and decided to steer clear of lifelong pill popping if at all possible.I will take a supplement to regulate my magnesium levels for the rest of eternity, but that doesn't affect your body if you miss it for a day or two, like prescriptions would.
So, Shelby and I went to Chili's last night for my Last Supper. I got the biggest Diet Coke from sonic after CBL. Today, it all changes. Im really hungry right now because I dont know what to eat lol
This is going to be interesting.
The pain, the medical bills, the lithotripsy, it all sucks.
Yesterday I had a doctor's appointment with my urologist in Houston. I kept a big girl face on while he listed all of the foods I need to stay away from in order to stop my body from producing kidney stones. Then I got out to my car and I cried.
- Fast foods
- cold cuts
- chocolate
- spinach
- nuts
- red meat
- rhubarb
- beets
- dark beer
- strawberries
- soda
- coffee
- tea
- juices
- canned food
- processed food*
- hotdogs*
- crackers*
- chips*
- pretzels*
- cheese*
We talked about prescription drugs and decided to steer clear of lifelong pill popping if at all possible.I will take a supplement to regulate my magnesium levels for the rest of eternity, but that doesn't affect your body if you miss it for a day or two, like prescriptions would.
So, Shelby and I went to Chili's last night for my Last Supper. I got the biggest Diet Coke from sonic after CBL. Today, it all changes. Im really hungry right now because I dont know what to eat lol
This is going to be interesting.
Sunday, February 10, 2013
A Year Ago Today
Friday, February 10, 2012, I was standing in a classroom at Prairie Creek Baptist Church in Plano, TX. It was an hour before students started to arrive for FUEL, their version of Dnow. This was my 3rd year and I had grown so fond of this youth ministry. I looked forward to working FUEL every year and getting the opportunity to show my friends, who I would bring along as leaders, this youth group that stole my heart. This particular year, my cousin, Shelby, was coming to be a leader.
A little back story about my family, for those of you who may not know. My immediate family is a little bit different than most families. We are loud and sarcastic. We joke, we fight, we laugh, we cry. But at the end of every day, my parents, my sisters, Kristen and Lisa, and my brothers, Brian, Spencer and Kyle, are my very best friends in the entire world. The bond that we have as siblings is much closer than most. Our extended family is the same. The people most families would call cousins, we are close to like siblings. One family in our extended family I am very close to. The Dillards. Growing up, the Benk kids and the Dillard kids spent a lot of time together, our moms watching each others kids, going to church together, growing up together. Mike and Cindie Dillard are the closest things I have to second parents. They would ground me if they thought I would listen. Shelby is my roommate and has been one of my closest friends since we were babies.
Shelby met me that night at the church. She was running a little bit late because her parents wanted to see her before she left. When she got to the church she told me she needed to talk to me, so we stepped into one of the classrooms. She was a little shaken and I was a little concerned. Shelby looked me in the eye and said 4 words that changed our lives forever. "Mom has a tumor".
Cancer, that's something that happens to other people. You never REALLY expect it to happen to someone you love. My heart was broken. Shelby and I stood there for a few minutes and cried with each other and I asked a few questions that she didn't have the answer to. We hugged and took a deep breath. We told the youth pastor and his wife what was going on, but we had this unspoken agreement that we were there for the students, and regardless of how difficult it might be, we had a job to do. Shelby and I shared our testimonies one night with the middle school girls and they cried with us for a little while as we told them what God was doing in our lives.
My Aunt Cindie is one of the strongest women I know. That weekend, I remember thinking she would break if I hugged her too hard. She spoke softly and she moved slowly. She was scared. You could see it on her face that Sunday when we all went to lunch. We all were. Everyone choking back tears and speaking at a quieter volume than our normal family gatherings. I remember Zach, the youngest of the Dillard kids, coming up and hugging me as he whispered in my ear.
Zach: "Did you hear about mom?"
Me: "Yes Zach, I did."
Zach (tightening his hug): "Im scared."
Me: "I know you are, I am too. We just have to keep trusting in God, ok?"
Those are things that will be burned into my mind forever. Trusting in God, that's what my family did. That next week I lived in Shelby's apartment with her. We wanted to make sure that she kept going that semester and didnt just sit and dwell on wanting to be home with her mom. We waited through that week until Thursday when Aunt Cindie went in for surgery. That Thursday, February 16, we would find out if the tumor was cancerous.
We stayed together, she and I, through the hardest year either of us has ever faced. And we trusted in God.
I'm sitting here crying as I remember the events of that weekend, not because the story is sad, though it is at times, but because through it all, my God provides.
A little back story about my family, for those of you who may not know. My immediate family is a little bit different than most families. We are loud and sarcastic. We joke, we fight, we laugh, we cry. But at the end of every day, my parents, my sisters, Kristen and Lisa, and my brothers, Brian, Spencer and Kyle, are my very best friends in the entire world. The bond that we have as siblings is much closer than most. Our extended family is the same. The people most families would call cousins, we are close to like siblings. One family in our extended family I am very close to. The Dillards. Growing up, the Benk kids and the Dillard kids spent a lot of time together, our moms watching each others kids, going to church together, growing up together. Mike and Cindie Dillard are the closest things I have to second parents. They would ground me if they thought I would listen. Shelby is my roommate and has been one of my closest friends since we were babies.
Shelby met me that night at the church. She was running a little bit late because her parents wanted to see her before she left. When she got to the church she told me she needed to talk to me, so we stepped into one of the classrooms. She was a little shaken and I was a little concerned. Shelby looked me in the eye and said 4 words that changed our lives forever. "Mom has a tumor".
Cancer, that's something that happens to other people. You never REALLY expect it to happen to someone you love. My heart was broken. Shelby and I stood there for a few minutes and cried with each other and I asked a few questions that she didn't have the answer to. We hugged and took a deep breath. We told the youth pastor and his wife what was going on, but we had this unspoken agreement that we were there for the students, and regardless of how difficult it might be, we had a job to do. Shelby and I shared our testimonies one night with the middle school girls and they cried with us for a little while as we told them what God was doing in our lives.
My Aunt Cindie is one of the strongest women I know. That weekend, I remember thinking she would break if I hugged her too hard. She spoke softly and she moved slowly. She was scared. You could see it on her face that Sunday when we all went to lunch. We all were. Everyone choking back tears and speaking at a quieter volume than our normal family gatherings. I remember Zach, the youngest of the Dillard kids, coming up and hugging me as he whispered in my ear.
Zach: "Did you hear about mom?"
Me: "Yes Zach, I did."
Zach (tightening his hug): "Im scared."
Me: "I know you are, I am too. We just have to keep trusting in God, ok?"
Those are things that will be burned into my mind forever. Trusting in God, that's what my family did. That next week I lived in Shelby's apartment with her. We wanted to make sure that she kept going that semester and didnt just sit and dwell on wanting to be home with her mom. We waited through that week until Thursday when Aunt Cindie went in for surgery. That Thursday, February 16, we would find out if the tumor was cancerous.
We stayed together, she and I, through the hardest year either of us has ever faced. And we trusted in God.
I'm sitting here crying as I remember the events of that weekend, not because the story is sad, though it is at times, but because through it all, my God provides.
Dnow Rehash
This weekend was simply amazing. I voiced my concerns in my last post, then I told you that I realized how off point I had been. I was there for the kids. It wasn't about me feeling comfortable, it was about me being uncomfortable so that the girls I was leading could be ok with uncomfortable. The first session we had with the speaker, Mike, he said something that stuck with me all weekend. He called all of the leaders to the front and had us kneel down at the alter. He then asked if anyone felt called, to come and lay hands on us and pray over us. Then he went into his lesson on Zacchaeus. His lesson was about Risk... "Going out on a limb" in order to encounter Jesus. He brought up the fact that he had the leaders come to the front and kneel at the alter and he said "your leaders are here this weekend, not because they are perfect. Quite the opposite. Your leaders are here because they realize that they are the most heinous of sinners. And they aren't ashamed to admit that they need Jesus. And leaders, you came here and you knelt down and you prayed because you know that if you aren't comfortable falling flat on your face before the cross, no one else around you will be either."
This weekend, the presence of God was unmistakable. God did work in the lives of my girls and in the lives of the other students. I met some amazing people, students and leaders a like, and I am so excited to see what God does with the relationships that have been built over the last 3 days. God is so good.
This weekend, the presence of God was unmistakable. God did work in the lives of my girls and in the lives of the other students. I met some amazing people, students and leaders a like, and I am so excited to see what God does with the relationships that have been built over the last 3 days. God is so good.
Friday, February 8, 2013
Sweet Senior Girls
I'm not going to lie, I was anxious about this weekend. Of the 30+ leaders at this DNow, I know 1. There are 180+ kids here and it's really intimidating to not know anyone. I got here and sat at a table like the quiet girl during the leader meeting, then came to my host home. I'm the only leader for my group, which almost makes it more difficult because I don't get a chance to interact with any of the other leaders.
I got to my host home and the family is so sweet. The girls took no time at all warming up to the strange college girl they got stuck with and it has been constant laughing since the beginning. It was such a relief and it really put me in my place. I've been anxious about not knowing anyone, but nothing matters more this weekend than the relationships being built in my group. I don't need to be worried about my own comfort. If I'm not willing to be uncomfortable, these girls won't be willing to be uncomfortable either. I'm so excited to see what God is going to do this weekend.
I got to my host home and the family is so sweet. The girls took no time at all warming up to the strange college girl they got stuck with and it has been constant laughing since the beginning. It was such a relief and it really put me in my place. I've been anxious about not knowing anyone, but nothing matters more this weekend than the relationships being built in my group. I don't need to be worried about my own comfort. If I'm not willing to be uncomfortable, these girls won't be willing to be uncomfortable either. I'm so excited to see what God is going to do this weekend.
I MADE IT!
This week was rough. I decided last Friday morning to go visit my sister in Shreveport. My cousin and I and our roommate packed up for our roadtrip. We stayed there until Sunday afteroon and then drove back. By the time we got back, I was exhausted. I then had to recover and study for 2 tests, finish writing 2 papers, and prepare a presentation. Needless to say, by Wednesday night, I really needed a nap. I made it though!!! I only have one grade back from each of the assignments and it was a test. I made a 98! HOLLA! :)
Today, after work, I am headed north. I am a leader for Disciple Now at Walnut Ridge Baptist Church in Mansfield, TX. Im really excited. I found out the other day that I am assigned to lead the 12th grade girls. I cant wait to see what God has in store. This is a new youth group, new faces, new kids to get to know. This is a breath of fresh air for me. I really cant make the time go any faster.
The last 24 hours has been difficult. There are a lot of things working on me both in negative ways and positive. The coming week begins my time of 1 year markers and I am very eager to share on here what God has done, but first, I have to get out of this funk. Praying for strength and rejuvenation and plenty of energy when 6pm rolls around.
I will try to blog this weekend and tell you about whats going on. YAYAYAYAYAYAYA DNOW!!!!!!!
Today, after work, I am headed north. I am a leader for Disciple Now at Walnut Ridge Baptist Church in Mansfield, TX. Im really excited. I found out the other day that I am assigned to lead the 12th grade girls. I cant wait to see what God has in store. This is a new youth group, new faces, new kids to get to know. This is a breath of fresh air for me. I really cant make the time go any faster.
The last 24 hours has been difficult. There are a lot of things working on me both in negative ways and positive. The coming week begins my time of 1 year markers and I am very eager to share on here what God has done, but first, I have to get out of this funk. Praying for strength and rejuvenation and plenty of energy when 6pm rolls around.
I will try to blog this weekend and tell you about whats going on. YAYAYAYAYAYAYA DNOW!!!!!!!
Friday, February 1, 2013
Welcome to my life
Wednesday morning I was reading Proverbs 12. I "happened" upon it Tuesday in the twisted way that my mind works. I have a friend who is writing a devotional on Proverbs 31:10-31 and he emailed me a copy of the one for verse 10. When I got that it triggered my memory to a recent Breakaway sermon on Character. (Breakaway is the on campus bible study that we have at Texas A&M on Tuesday nights. We usually have around 6,000 students who come on a regular basis.) Ben Stuart highlighted Proverbs 31 and Proverbs 12 in that sermon. So I went to look at Proverbs 12 and I got my toes stepped on bad that day. Reading through that passage and trying to apply it to myself I was super convicted about how I carry myself and how I respond to others and my motives behind my actions. I can genuinely say that this passage has been at the forefront of my mind every day since then. Yesterday satan attacked me bad, I slipped up and didnt respond in the very best way, but I can still see a drastic difference between what I normally would have said in that instance and what I actually said in that instance. It's encouraging to see that God really is working in me and in my life.
Next week starts the first round of tests. I have 2 test, 2 papers, and a presentation split between Tuesday and Wednesday. I dont handle tests well. I know the material, I can regurgitate it back to anyone who asks me.... as long as I am not answering a multiple choice question. If I could write an essay or 20 essays for each test, I would so much rather that than sit down and answer multiple choice questions where I second guess myself and freak myself out and fail the test (ok Im exaggerating a little, but still) because I hate tests. Good news is I only have 2 finals and I may not have to take one of them if I like my grade already.
There's not much else going on in my life.... except I will be accepting applications to be my date to ring dance coming at the end of this semester. I got a text from my mom last night that said "If I get a picture of you at ring dance, then Ill have one of all of us at ring dance ;)" uhhh WHAT?!?! I haven't thought about ring dance since before I got to college. Why in the world would I want to go to ring dance. But no pressure right? I'll just ruin my mom's dreams of having a picture of all 4 kids and she and dad at each of our ring dances..... needless to say, I need a handsome friend to come be my picture date hahaha. So, I'll accept applications, then hold interviews, call backs, or maybe beg and bribe.... lol whatever it takes.
Regardless, this semester has been wonderful so far. There are a lot of "one year" markers ahead, for each I will write a post telling you a little bit about my testimony over the last year, and sharing with you stories of some of the most important people in my life, my beautiful aunt who is a second mom and of 2 very godly men who left my life this year but left their marks in my life as they went. I am blessed to have made it this far, and I know God will carry me through any storm. Im excited to share with you what God has done to grow me and mature me in my walk and to bring me through difficult times.
Next week starts the first round of tests. I have 2 test, 2 papers, and a presentation split between Tuesday and Wednesday. I dont handle tests well. I know the material, I can regurgitate it back to anyone who asks me.... as long as I am not answering a multiple choice question. If I could write an essay or 20 essays for each test, I would so much rather that than sit down and answer multiple choice questions where I second guess myself and freak myself out and fail the test (ok Im exaggerating a little, but still) because I hate tests. Good news is I only have 2 finals and I may not have to take one of them if I like my grade already.
There's not much else going on in my life.... except I will be accepting applications to be my date to ring dance coming at the end of this semester. I got a text from my mom last night that said "If I get a picture of you at ring dance, then Ill have one of all of us at ring dance ;)" uhhh WHAT?!?! I haven't thought about ring dance since before I got to college. Why in the world would I want to go to ring dance. But no pressure right? I'll just ruin my mom's dreams of having a picture of all 4 kids and she and dad at each of our ring dances..... needless to say, I need a handsome friend to come be my picture date hahaha. So, I'll accept applications, then hold interviews, call backs, or maybe beg and bribe.... lol whatever it takes.
Regardless, this semester has been wonderful so far. There are a lot of "one year" markers ahead, for each I will write a post telling you a little bit about my testimony over the last year, and sharing with you stories of some of the most important people in my life, my beautiful aunt who is a second mom and of 2 very godly men who left my life this year but left their marks in my life as they went. I am blessed to have made it this far, and I know God will carry me through any storm. Im excited to share with you what God has done to grow me and mature me in my walk and to bring me through difficult times.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)